A familiar experience a lot of us had was staying up late on Friday or Saturday, waiting for cartoon network to end, and Toonami to start, however aside from Naruto, I didn't care for much else Toonami had to offer. Something that grabbed my 11 year old brain was the bright colors and blazing jazz opening of Cowboy Bebop. The show's main character Spike Spiegel, with his blue suit and cigarettes, made me as a child think to myself “wait... are cigarettes actually cool?”. However being so young and experiencing bebop, never really clicked for me past cool fight scenes and stimulating music. It wasn't until as a 23 year old, I decided to take the journey again.
Spike is a man tortured by his past. He was originally a part of a dangerous crime syndicate, with a woman named Julia. Spike falls in love with her, and so desperately wants to escape the syndicate and live out a happy life with her. He devises a plan to fake their deaths and go free. When the time comes, Julia doesn’t follow through with this plan, tragically leaving Spike by himself. By his own words, Spike has lost a part of him. At some point before the start of the series, something happens to one of Spike's eyes, where he gets a cybernetic eye to replace the one he lost. This becomes a heavy weight for spike as he perceives that one eye looks towards the future and the other in the past. A handful of times Spike states that he isn't even sure if he’s alive. Heartbroken and betrayed, Spike so desperately wants this all to be a dream. He is truly stuck dwelling on the past, and dreading the future where he must face the syndicate he originally left. This is the state we meet Spike in, a depressed apathetic man. Living on a spaceship called the Bebop with a man named Jet. His life at this time is a diversion from himself. As a bounty hunter, Spike is able to shift his focus to different tasks regularly, as well as take advantage of his desire for danger. As he only feels alive when his life is on the line. We even see Spike on a crashing ship, and the only thing he can say is. “Well, whatever happens happens” whilst lighting one last cigarette. Spike isn't afraid of death, as it will answer his question of if he was really alive. Overtime Spike grows to be someone who can enjoy the company of the people around him, even the crewmates he originally hated. So much so that he cannot even enjoy the opportunity to overindulge in food for the first time in years, because he doesn't have those people with him.
The leader of the syndicate is a man named Vicious, who is searching for a spike, a literal manifestation of the past coming to collect its debt. To make things worse, Julia is still alive and with Vicious. His crew of friends have departed, Spike is going to find and save Julia. After finding her he asks her again to run away with him, to heal and move on. In a tragic flash, Julia is shot and killed. His other half, ripped away from him, moments after regaining it. Spike no longer has his past, he is left to face his present, he must come to face Vicious.
He returns to his friend Jet, to share one last meal, the same bell peppers with beef (with no beef) that Spike initially despised, he reiterates that the food is horrible, but he enjoys it now because he is with his friend. When saying goodbye to another member of the crew, Faye, Spike says he must face his past, not to die but to find out if he is truly alive. A rewording of a tale that Jet told him early in the series about how men never think about their past until they are dying as if they are frantically searching for proof that they were ever alive.
In John Wick fashion, Spike takes on the entire syndicate by himself. Blazing through grunts effortlessly until he reaches Vicious.
“So you’re finally awake.”
Vicious utters these words to Spike, as if he’s been inside his head this whole time. After a brutal altercation, Spike overcomes Vicious finally breaking free of his past.
Spike stumbles out of the building, helicopter spotlights shining on him, he is surrounded. His real eye, the eye that is stuck focused on the past, is covered and bleeding. In his only present eye, he sees Julia and recalls her last words. Which we don't actually hear as the song “See You Space Cowboy” plays, but I think the lyrics can describe the feelings of Spike and Julia. “Even if my life ends, This love will not disappear. It's something that will live forever, Even if dreams are hidden in darkness. I got a rainbow In my hands…”
Spike smiles in this moment of clarity, he looks to his present the weight of his past is finally carried. He holders his finger towards the spotlight and says “Bang” as he finally collapses. We are left with a black screen, with 5 simple words.
“You’re gonna carry that weight”
Spike's story is a tale of confronting pain instead of running from it. A lesson that we all need to learn at some point. Whether it be grief of a loss or guilt of a mistake. The only way out is in, the only way to heal, is to face the spotlight. The only way to grow, is to carry the weight yourself.
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